Perception of emotions oozing from the heart entwined in ecstacy and pain shielded with love.
It was usual day and I was out for shopping with my mother when suddenly my eyes got stuck on him. I froze for a minute, kept looking at him and regained senses after my mother shook me up. I looked at my mother and again looked at him. Emotion flooded from inside, I found it hard to stand or to stabilize myself, tears were about to roll down my cheeks when I patted myself, shook my legs and held those tears in the eyes , with a deep long breath I answered my mother "yes let's go".
It was him, the long lost first love of my life. I have been longing for him all these years. I used to imagine how it would be when I see him again. I used to think whether he would be married or how many kids he would have. All these years I have been holding myself together and promising myself to not break when I see him. But here I am, all shattered and destroyed.
I walk closer to see more of him. Meanwhile my mother and I having conversation about list of stuff we need to collect from the store. "Yes Maa that's all, we don't need much stuff ". All this while staring him. I walk closer to see a woman standing by his side. And suddenly a cute little girl came running from nowhere and hold pulls his trousers saying, "Dad I want those chocolates". And as I go closer I hear his voice after decades I hear something that soothes my ears. In his voice he replied, "Okay I will get you the chocolates". And then he holds her in his arms getting her the chocolates she asked.
I am looking at the entire scenario from a distance where he did not see me. I saw the charm in his face, the shine in his eyes out of happiness on holding his daughter. He looks at the woman, his wife with intense eyes filled with love. They had finished their shopping and were leaving when our eyes met. I could not stop staring at him, breathing heavily I looked at his wife, his kids, giving a smirk I looked away and moved towards the shop where my mother was standing.
I held pain for a very long duration. We had parted in good terms and yet I was in continuous distress but no more. As I see him happy and content in his life with beautiful small family I feel relieved. Today I am happy for him and today I feel I can move on in my life too.
''Are you alright?' you asked me out of the blue. We didn't even know each other back then, but this question made me feel safe even cared for after a long time. You asked if I was alright again and I replied : " Yeah I am fine".
Something shook within and I became alert. Adjusting my dress I looked down and sideways to confirm I was looking just normal. Collecting my curls spread all over my face I tied them into a bun. While I was fishing for my hairpin in my bag you stepped forward with the pin on the ground, "are you looking for this?" I replied: "yes" and took it from your hand and tucked in my hair. There was this first eye contact I made with a man after being boisterously manhandled. You looked concerned and your eyes were like a mirror reflecting your innocence, truthfulness and care.
We sat for approximately an hour waiting for the bus that day, in that hour I realized I can befriend and trust someone in this Men's world. The comfort and safety that you made me feel that day was the reason I stood stronger after the wrath that had just happened. Anger, fury, recklessness, and demureness would not have passed had you not been there by my side all this while.
Preview:
Singly Married ~ Ashu had proposed Mihika for marriage, she neither refused or accepted the proposal. But the ring.....
Mihika still have that ring with her. She wears it as pendant which is never visible. She always kept Ashu close to her heart. Even after 5 years, that love existed in her system as the blood flows through her veins.
Mihika didn't marry Ashu or anyone else. Till today she was waiting for the right moment. The moment when she would feel responsible enough to dive into that life. She was too scared to get involved into customs, social attribute and liability. She grew up strong, wise, intelligent and smart.
Ashu always complimented her existence. Her wild activities and his sober handlings of her mischief. She shouted and he calmed her with his patience. Her hatred and his love was like that sweet which would not taste better without sour. His achievements, her decisions were winning them their goals in life. She knew he would come everytime she would not even ask for, but needed him. She annoyed him to beg for death and yet he came around every time.
Ever since Ashu asked Mihika, she has been running around to places, meeting more people and trying to hide her complexities in her schedule. She needed him but was scared of commitment .
What if this doesn't work out? What if he starts hating me? What if the fights between us start growing intense to part us to different ways?
She kept grilling these thoughts in her mind.
Until one day in that village walking around the Riverside she saw someone coming towards her. The moment she saw him her phone dropped in the mud and as she bend to pick up the phone the neckpiece floating in the air showcased the ring she was hiding.
In a hustle she turned around fixed her neckline hiding the neckpiece, turned around and said, "hey Ashu! how come you are here?". Ashu looked at her for good 15minutes glancing at her. Both kept looking at each other's eyes and felt the pain and ecstacy at the same time.
Ashu held her hand started speaking, "What are you doing with your life, ever since I asked you have been running around avoiding my calls, texts or mails. If you want to refuse to my proposal, or if you don't want me around why are you wearing that ring?".
Mihika stood silent for 5minutes.
...to be continued.....
Ashu was full prepared
Ashu proposed her with a ring for marriage.
she was excited, could be seen in her eyes,
sudden glow on her face and the energy
all did signify that she was overwhelmed
she didn't refuse or reject him or the proposal
yet she never accepted it completely
she took the ring but never said "Yes".
......To be continued.......
